OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
