he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
