The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
