dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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