I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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