i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
