i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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