He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The uberlube is also flammable
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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