i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
