I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
