Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
