office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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