haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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