Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
