She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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