i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
