help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
