Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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