Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I currently don't understand fingers.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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