The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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