their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
