Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
