Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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