How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
