worst night to have a conscience
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
