arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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