brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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