thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
