I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this will be a night to untag.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
