We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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