There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
