Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
