apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
