We're facebook friends in real life
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
