I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
