How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
