yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
