Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
