I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
