Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
