used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
