I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
