i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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