Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
