Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
