I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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