i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
