If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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