Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
