So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
