Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Randomize
