a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
