found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sorry about my life...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
